Bears. Beets. Buffalo Sabres.

Potential new Hockey Night in Canada theme songs:

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3)

Feaster Not Sexy Enough for Tampa Bay

The new Tampa Bay Lightning are all about sex appeal. Take a look at that fat bearded man holding the Stanley cup and it quite obvious that he did not fit into their plans.

Since Len Barrie and Oren Koules have taken over the team they have made some rather peculiar moves, most of which have involved a lot of sizzle, but very little steak.

It is blatantly obvious that Jay Feaster had not been calling the shots for a couple months now. The new owners’ first order of business was to bring in Barry Melrose as head coach to replace John Tortorella. Clearly not Feaster’s choice. Nothing but a PR move in hiring a guy who is a well-known television personality in the United States but hasn’t coached a game in the NHL since Alf was popular.

Their next move was to go balls out on free agents, signing any forward with any kind of a scoring touch that they could get their hands on, including a couple washed up has-beens. Is this a move that will get the fans excited and maybe sell a few more tickets? Yes. Is this a move that will make the Lightning a contender? Hell no.

The Tampa Bay Lightning now have 18 forwards under contract, almost all of them of NHL calibre. Their cap hit on forwards alone is almost $37 million. Meanwhile they have one of the weakest back ends in the entire league.

The Lightning then proceeded to trade away Dan Boyle, who Feaster had just signed to a big multi-year contract last season. Boyle was the top defenseman on a team that struggled like crazy in their own end. While Boyle is not exactly a defensive stalwart, Feaster clearly understood his importance to the team.

At this point, there was no doubt that Feaster, the man who brought Tampa Bay a Stanley Cup, was being phased out. But the writing was actually on the wall a few weeks earlier when the Lightning hired Brian Lawton as their VP of Hockey operations just a week before free agency began. Lawton is a former player agent who recently quit the business to pursue his dreams of becoming an NHL GM. Lawton had interviewed for the vacant GM job in Vancouver before they decided to hire Mike Gillis instead.

Feaster confirmed that he had indeed been phased out when he released the following statement:

"For the past two weeks I have watched from the sidelines as Brian Lawton, Len Barrie and Oren Koules executed to perfection the game-plan they shared with us prior to the NHL Draft in Ottawa. During that time it became apparent to me that this new ownership group did not need my advice or expertise, and I came to the conclusion that it was time to move on. When I expressed that sentiment to Oren and Len they immediately agreed to honor my contract and accept my resignation. I thank them for working with me through a difficult time and I wish them every continued success."

With Lawton clearly in charge, this brings about an interesting question for Canucks fans. If he was the one who made all those deals to get more offensive power in TB, would he have been a better hire in Vancouver than Gillis? Vancouver clearly still needs offensive help. The only issue in Tampa Bay is that offence was not exactly their problem in the first place.

It is bizarre that the new owners did not release Feaster before the draft or at least before free agency began but pretty much everything they have done so far has been ass-backwards.

Moving forward, it will be interesting to see what else the Tampa Bay Lightning do. I predict that it will still be a whole lot of losing, but at least they will be doing it in style.

Welcome to Calgary Old Friend

The day Todd left Vancouver was the day that I became his biggest fan. My dream was that one day I would see him in a Flaming Red 'C' and as of earlier this week my dreams came true. Everyone looks at the negatives of Todd...ie. Todd is this, Todd is that...but no one ever stops to think about the good stuff he does, the reason why, at one point, he was one of the leagues premiere power forwards.

So lets get a few negatives out of the way. Todd likes taking stupid penalties. I'm not denying it, I'm not going to beat around the bush, or doll it up so it sounds nice; Todd can be a moron at times. However, I think now that he is on a team with solid leadership with the likes of Jarome and Robyn, a crazy coach that will lock him in a cage (like he did with Kristian Huselius), and a business only GM he will settle down and figure out how to play smart hockey.

The other issue with Todd is his reputation. No one likes him. He was, at one point, the number one bad guy when it came to Flames fans and now he is one of us. I doubt that the Flames fans will boo him in our own house but I know that as soon as they take the show on the road the boo birds will come out every time he touches the puck. And you know what the best way is to shut them up? Put some points on the board. If Todd scores a goal on opening night then all the naysayers in Cowtown will think he is the second coming of Lanny McDonald. And if he just sticks to his game people will get tired of booing him. Plus, who could boo a guy that could potentially be playing on the same line as the greatest hockey player in the league (yes, that would be my boy, Iggy).

Now the good stuff. Todd has a hot wife....No, I'm kidding (though he does). Todd is a big boy. However, from what I understand he has shed a few pounds (around 25 lbs). This makes him much more mobile than he was before. With the way things are going in the NHL you can't have heavy guys out there because the younger, faster players will skate circles around you. Loosing these few pounds should help him keep up with Iggy or Lombo (depending on whether he's playing line one or two) but he's still pretty big so he's still the go to guy when room needs to be cleared for the guys with softer hands.

Another interesting point is the fact that Todd WANTS to play in Canada again. Sure, he could have gone to some backwater team like Nashville, Atlanta, Columbus, or Vancouver but he didn't. He came to a market where hockey is number one and from the moment he steps onto the ice people are going to criticize and he seems fine with that. He claims it will make him play better and I do hope it really elevates his game.

I'm sure when it came time to sign Todd it wasn't all willy-nilly. Darryl is a smart man and knows what he's doing. He most likely wouldn't pick up Todd if he didn't feel he could have something to offer. Darryl has got us this far so it's no time to be second guessing him now.

I am really looking forward to the start of the new season. The Flames have really improved their team with a bit more scoring and a lot more size. Lets wait till opening night at see how it goes.

And in the immortal words of the newest Calgary Flame "It is what it is...."

Chirping from the Bench

I've got a little bit of a bone to pick with NHL Commisioner Gary Bettman (aka - The Count from Sesame Street). I'm not too sure how many of you have been following the ongoing war of words between Anaheim Ducks GM Bryan Burke and his counterpart in Edmonton Kevin Lowe, but why is Gary Bettman bothering to get involved? This whole thing started about a year ago when Kevin Lowe signed Anaheim power forward Dustin Penner to a restricted free agent offer sheet(something he had every right to do under the terms of the CBA). Needless to say Burke was a little peeved at this offer (but let's be realistic, did Burke really expect to be able to sign Getzlaf, Perry and Penner within a year of each other?) and as he is wont to do, spouted off in the media about it. Burke reacted to the offer by calling Lowe a "GM on the ropes who is trying to save his job" and telling everyone that would listen that he was "throwing a grenade at the other 29 teams". Lowe and Burke exchanged shots in the media for about a week, everyone was entertained, the story went away and all was well with the world again. This is what happens in hockey. Players chirp at each other on the ice all the time so why can't the GMs, who are usually ex-players, do the same?

Flash forward one year to last week when Burke realized he wasn't getting enough attention down in Anaheim and decided to spout off again, blaming Lowe for everything from rising player salaries to the increase in fuel prices. Again, Lowe shot back, giving us one of the best one liners since Patrick Roy's "I couldn't hear what Jeremy (Roenick) was saying because I had my two Stanley Cup rings in my ears". Lowe said, "He won a Stanley Cup? Great. I've won six Stanley Cups, you want to count rings?". A friendly little back and forth in the media right? No one get's hurt and everyone is entertained for a few days. Wrong! In steps Gary Bettman like the principal at your elementary school breaking up a fight that everyone wants to see and telling everyone that these disparaging comments were "bad for the business" and would no longer be tolerated. Here's why I think he's wrong:

1. It's the offseason, keep your game relevent

Other than the Draft and the first day of free agency, hockey completely leaves the public consiousness during the off-season (even more so in the US, where it's not even on the public consiousness to begin with). What's wrong with letting the GMs battle it out in the media? It gives me something to read about while at work (so that I don't have to work). It gives talking heads Bob McKenzie, Pierre McGuire and Nick Kypreos something to write about and most importantly it keeps you in the public eye. I think guys like Burke are great for the game.

2. I want to know what these guys really think

A couple of days ago the St. Louis Blues tendered an offer sheet to newly acquired Canucks forward Steve Bernier. Normally I wouldn't really care, but it was clear to everyone that this was in direct retaliation to the Canucks tendering an offer sheet to David Backes the week before. St. Louis knew the Canucks would match (which they did) since they had just acquired Bernier for two draft picks and would only recieve one as compensation. Everyone eagerly awaited Canucks GM Mike Gillis' response and thanks to Gary Bettman we got this: "It is what it is" and "we have a lot of respect for the management team of John Davidson and Larry Pleau". Bull Shit! I'm sure deep down inside Gillis was just steaming at Davidson for making this offer sheet. These two have been going at it all offseason - Vancouver tenders an offer sheet to their player, they do the same to Vancouver, Vancouver signs a piece of garbage they don't want (Ryan Johnson) St. Louis responds by doing the same (Mike Weaver). I want to know what Gillis really thinks. In fact, I want to this a step further and see Gillis and Davidson go bucket's off at center ice during the intermission of the first Canucks-Blues game this year. My money is on ex tough guy Gillis getting the decision over ex-goalie Davidson.

3. If you actually listen to him, Burke makes a point

Sure, he didn't need to drag Kevin Lowe into things this off season but a lot of what Burke says makes sense. The minimum salary cap is bad for the game! During the last CBA negotiations the NHL insisted on having a salary cap to curb rising player costs. The players agreed to the cap, but under one provision: a salary minimum that was based on owner revenues. I don't think anyone at the NHL really thought this one through, but here's what happened. THe Canadian dollar skyrocketed in relation to the US dollar. THe NHL is hugely popular in Canada. NHL revenues rose, the salary cap and minimum rose right along with it and we now have escalating salaries. Great for the teams that can afford it (4 of the top 6 money earning teams in the NHL are in Canada), not so good for those that can't (like Burke's down in Anaheim). Teams are forced to spend up to the minimum so they have no choice but to throw ridiculous amounts of money at useless players to get there. I mean come on Columbus, is Mike Commodore really worth $18.75 million over 5 years to be your number 5 defenceman or do you really just have more money to spend than you actually know what to do with.

Let em talk Bettman, any publicity is good publicity for a league that Tiger Woods says no one watches anymore.

Robert

Flames' New Headache

Todd Bertuzzi signing with the Calgary Flames is not a good fit. It isn’t a good fit for the player. It isn’t a good fit for the team

Bertuzzi’s game was on the decline even before he bashed in Steve Moore’s brains. Before the Moore incident, Bertuzzi was on pace that season for only around 70 points, nearly 30 short of the 97 he had recorded the season before. It has been all downhill since. Last year he managed only 40 points, and that is playing on a line with Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf for much of the season. Despite the fact that Bertuzzi will likely see ice time with Iginla in Calgary, the Flames lack a legitimate number one centre. Daymond Langkow certainly does not measure up to Getzlaf.

One thing Flames Fans will have to get used to is a lot more penalties, often at the most inopportune times. Even at his peak, Todd took many stupid penalties. When Todd was at his best, about half his penalties were because he was an aggressive, dominating power forward and the other half were because he would be lazy and not use his brain. Recently, half of his penalties are still because he can be lazy and dumb and the other half are simply because of his reputation for being a thug. Shall we go back to the 2006 Olympics? Guess who was in the penalty box in the third period of the gold medal game when Russia scored what would end up being the winning goal?

After spending last season with Anaheim, where hockey takes a back seat to several other sports, Bertuzzi will be returning to the country where hockey is king.

"I played my best hockey in Canada when I was under the microscope, and that may
be a little kick-start to get it going again," said Bertuzzi.

While it is certainly true that he had his most productive years in Vancouver, he was far from someone who thrived in the spotlight. Todd played his best hockey in Vancouver when expectations for both him and the team were low. He burst on to the scene from relative obscurity when the team was in the shitter to become one of the games premiere power forwards and then slowly fizzled out as the spotlight intensified. After establishing himself as a first-liner, Todd only managed to lead the team to one playoff round victory in five years. He was rarely the one to bring his A-game when the team needed him most. And let’s not forget his last season in Vancouver in which the Canucks lost 6 of the last 8 games to miss out on a playoff spot. Todd hated the media with a passion and it has always been obvious that he is not one who craves to be the center of attention, especially when things are not going his way.

Media scrutiny aside, it is mind boggling that Bertuzzi would want to return to play in the Northwest division. Fans on the road are going to be all over him like flies on shit. Is he some kind of glutton for punishment that he really wants to play Minnesota, Vancouver and Colorado six times each season? Minnesota was the original city to start booing Todd back when the Wild knocked the Canucks out of the playoffs in 2003 and they have certainly not warmed to him since. It doesn’t need to be explained why he will forever be hated in Colorado. And now that he is playing for one of Vancouver’s biggest rivals, Canuck fans will no longer have any sympathy for him. It is going to be a rough ride all season long.

An ideal situation would have been a place like Atlanta where he could have finished out his career in relative obscurity and still made enough money to pay off his legal fees. Or how about Tampa Bay? They seem to be handing out contracts like candy and he would be completely lost in the shuffle there with the 19 other new forwards joining the team.

I am not even going to get into Bertuzzi’s numerous injuries over the last few seasons or his ongoing legal troubles, which are still years from conclusion. Needless to say, signing Todd was a gamble and it is not one that I see working out for Darryl Sutter and the Flames.

Welcome to the Blog

Welcome to Cut By Skates where you can find exciting and entertaining hockey commentary provided by myself, Aleem, and Bobby, along some guest posts from our resident stats only guy Rob (sometimes he gets out of hand so we need to limit his blogging powers).

Stay tuned for some funny stuff and remember to keep your head up otherwise you just might be cut by skates (see what I did there?)